雅思写作不合格?雅思写作是日复一日的积累的,小编给大家整理了相关资讯,希望能够帮助同学们。
Some scientists believe intelligent life forms may exist other planets and some want to send messages to the space to contact with these life forms. But other scientists believe it is a bad idea and it could be dangerous. Discuss both ideas and give your own opinion.
应对上面这个题目,学生在观点二论述中写了这样几个句子:
Firstly, the aliens may be hostile to us. For instance, we send message to them and they may not be friendly and even attack the Earth and this may bring a disaster to the whole human.
教师修改后如下:
Aliens may also be hostile to us. One possible reason is that since each species normally has the primal fear of the unknown, aliens may regard humans as a threat, even attacking the Earth in a defensive respect. If those “outsiders” receive the messages from our planet, a disaster to the Earth may come along.
? 学生句子中的意群信息过于密集了。
1. we send message to them;
2. they may not be friendly;
3. even attack the Earth;
4. this may bring a disaster to the whole human.
一共四层意义,但在写作的过程中要主语这些意群之间的联系,而不是简单地用and,这一并列连词进行连接,并且这里并非是在举例,而是在论述。
? 从CC的角度来说,首先2、3两句是完全可以结合,当做一个背景来写:One possible reason is that since each species normally has the primal fear of the unknown, aliens may regard humans as a threat, even attacking the Earth in a defensive respect.:我们之于外星人来说也是“外星人”,而对方出于防御的角度(对未知的恐惧,这是更深层次的原因)考虑会选择保护自身,从而会“攻击”地球。那么1 可以作为一个条件:If those “outsiders” receive the messages from our planet,4 就可以作为一个结果:a disaster to the Earth may come along.
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